The Tao of Internet Relay Chat Copyright (C) Ove Ruben R Olsen 1994 Version of 940110 Contributing masters: Master ScottM ----- So
mething is formed by the electrons, born in the silent cable. Shaping and growing and ungrowing. It is there yet not there. It is 
the source of Internet Relay Chat. I do not know the name, thus I will call it the Tao of Internet Relay Chat. If the Tao is great
, then the IRC is running ceaselessly. If the IRC is great then the server is running without ever stoping. If the server is great
 then the client will always be the server. The luser is then pleased and there is Chat in the world. The Tao of IRC squits far aw
ay and connects on returning. ----- The genetic potential of birth, a lot to know, yet unknown. In the begining there was nothing.
 Out of nothing the Tao gave birth to tolsun.oulu.fi. tolsun gave birth to OuluBox. OuluBox gave birth to rmsg. rmsg was not Tao, 
so MUT gave birth to IRC. No one knows when IRC came into existance, the mighty master WiZ have it to be at the end of the eight m
onth in the year of the Dragon. ----- Each channel has its purpose, however humble. Each channel is the Yin and Yang of IRC. Each 
channels has it's place within the IRC. In the beginning there was only channel 0, thus channel 0 is the soil of IRC. Channel 1 to
 channel 10 then was open as the sea. Channel 11 to 999 was the trees and forests of IRC. Channels above 999 should not be mention
ed, and channels below 0 were unborn and contained many secrets. This was not the right Tao, so IRC gave birth to +channels. +chan
nels had the yin and yang. Mode does not. This was not the right Tao still, so IRC gave birth to #channels. #channels have the yin
 and yang. Only channel 0 is the right path to Tao, but avoid speaking on channel 0. ----- There was a great dispute among the Bro
om-Walkers of the Relay. Some of them wanted neither yin nor yang. Out of this Eris came into existance. Some of the Broom-Walkers
 then created Eris Free-net. This was the right Tao. Kind Gentle and Boring Net was another wrong path to the Tao of Internet Rela
y Chat. Some time later there was a quantity of some lusers who wanted to be Broom-Walkers also. The Eris Free Broom-Walkers did n
ot agree with them, thus a new IRC was born. This IRC is called the Undernet. But this is not the right Tao, either. ----- There w
ill always be disputes among the Broom-Walkers of Internet Relay Chat. This is the very nature of the IRC. ----- Lusers that do no
t understand the Tao is always using the yang of Mode on their channels. Lusers that do understand the Tao are always using Ignore
 on their channels. How could this not be so ? ----- The wise sage luser is told about the Chat and uses it. The luser is told abo
ut the IRC and is looking for it. The flock are told about the Tao and make a fool of the IRC. If there was no laughter, there wou
ld be no Tao. ----- The master says: "Without the Tao of Internet Relay Chat, life becomes meaningless." The Relay of the old time
 was mysterious and sacred. We can neither imagine its thoughts nor path; we are left but to describe. ----- The sage luser must b
e aware like a frog crossing the highway. ----- The great master Wumpus once dreamed that he was an automaton. When he awoke he ex
claimed: "I don't know whether I am Wumpus dreaming that I am a client, or a client dreaming that I am Wumpus!" So was the first A
utomata born. The master Nap then said: "Any automata should not speak unless spoken to. Any automata shall only whisper when spok
en to." Thus replied the master Gnarfer: "The lusers shall keep in mind that a automata can be either good or bad. Create good aut
omata, and the IRC will hail you and you will gain fame and fortune. Create bad automata and people will start to hate you, and fi
naly you will be /KILLed to ethernal damnation" Many lusers have fallen into the clutches of ethernal damnation. They where not fo
llowing the Tao. ----- There once was a luser who went to #BotSex. Each day he saw the automatons. The luser decided that he also 
would have such a automata. He asked another luser for his automata. The other luser gave his automata away. The luser was not wit
hin the Tao, so he just started the automata. The automata had only Yang inside so all the lusers files where deleted. Some moons 
laither the same luser then had become a sage luser, and did create his automata from the very grounds with materials found inside
 the IRC. The luser was now within the Tao and his automata lived happily ever after. ----- There once was a master who wrote auto
matons without the help of master Phone. A novice luser, seeking to imitate him, began with the help of master Phone. When the nov
ice luser asked the master to evaluate his automata the master replied: "What is a working automata for the master is not for the 
luser. You must must BE the IRC before automating." ----- Master BigCheese gave birth to master Troy; his duty clear. Master Troy 
gave birth to master Phone, for the Tao of Irc must be eternal and must flow as the ceaseless river of Time itself. ----- Master P
hone once said about the ircII client: "public_msg is for a message from someone NOT on the channel public_other is for a message 
on a channel that doesn't belong to a window. public is for a message on a channel that belongs to a window!" Out of this raised t
he mighty chaos. ----- The sage luser came to the master who wrote automata without the help of master Phone. The sage luser asked
 the master who wrote automata: "Which is easiest to make. A automata with the help of master Phone or an automata made with the h
elp of a language ?" The master who wrote automata then replied: "With the help of a language." The sage luser was disapointed and
 exclaimed: "But, with master Phone you do not need to know anything about the soil of IRC. Is not that the easiet way ?" "Not rea
lly" said the master who wrote automata, "when using master Phone you are closed inside a box. For sure, it is a great box for the
 lusers, but the master will need more power, thus a language is the only path to go. With the language the master will never have
 to limit himself. When using such a language the master will seek the best between the need and the availibility." "I see", said 
the sage luser. This is the essence of Tao of IRC automatas. ----- A client should be light and be used for communication. The spi
rit of a good client is that it should be very convinient for the luser to use, but hard for the luser who want to create automata
. There should never ever be too many functions or too few functions. There should always be a ignore. Without ignore the client i
s not within the Tao of Chating. The client should always respond the luser with messages that will not astnonish him too much. Th
e server likewise. If the server does not, then it is the clients job to explain what the server says. A client which fails this, 
will be useless and cause confusion for the lusers. The only way to correct this is to use another client or to write a new one. -
---- A luser asked the masters on #IrcHelp: "My client does not work". The masters replied: "Upgrade your client". The luser then